Indifference as a Power
Indifference as a Power
We’re told to care deeply about everything: our career, our health, politics, the environment, social causes, personal growth. The result? Exhaustion, anxiety, and burnout.
What if the secret is strategic indifference?
The Problem with Caring
Caring takes energy. Finite, depleting energy.
When you care about:
- What your coworkers think
- Your GitHub star count
- Hacker News comments
- Your follower count
- Last week’s mistakes
- Next year’s unknowns
You have no energy left for things that actually matter.
The Stoic View
Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor and philosopher:
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
Translation: You can control your reactions. You can’t control everything else.
Choose what deserves your concern.
Strategic Indifference
Not caring about everything. Caring deeply about a few things, and being indifferent to the rest.
What I’m Indifferent To
Career prestige: I don’t care about:
- Job titles
- Fancy company logos on LinkedIn
- Total compensation comparisons
- Promotions at companies I don’t respect
Result: I optimize for learning and autonomy, not status.
Social media metrics: I don’t care about:
- Follower counts
- Engagement rates
- Going viral
- Being “known”
Result: I publish for clarity of thought, not audience growth.
Others’ opinions: I don’t care about:
- What strangers think of my code
- Hacker News critics
- Whether people “get” my projects
Result: I build what interests me, not what’s popular.
Outcomes I can’t control: I don’t care about:
- Market timing
- Luck
- Other people’s decisions
- Global events
Result: I focus on inputs (effort, skill), not outputs (results).
What I Care About Deeply
Because I’m indifferent to the above, I can invest heavily in:
Craft: Writing better code, understanding systems deeply, building things that work.
Autonomy: Having control over my time, projects, and decisions.
Relationships: Close friends and family, not a large network of weak ties.
Health: Sleep, exercise, and mental well-being over hustle culture.
Learning: Curiosity for its own sake, not for career advancement.
The Power of Not Caring
1. Reduced Anxiety
When you stop caring about things outside your control:
- Stock market crashes? Indifferent (I have a long time horizon)
- Negative comments? Indifferent (they don’t know my goals)
- Project fails? Indifferent (learned something)
Anxiety evaporates.
2. Faster Decisions
When you don’t care about:
- Looking smart
- Being liked
- Avoiding criticism
You can:
- Ship imperfect code (iterate later)
- Say “no” without explanation (your time is finite)
- Quit projects that aren’t working (sunk cost is sunk)
Decisiveness improves.
3. Creative Freedom
When you don’t care about:
- What’s trendy
- What gets upvoted
- What’s “serious” work
You can:
- Build weird side projects
- Write unpolished thoughts
- Experiment without pressure
Creativity flourishes.
4. Resilience
When you don’t care about:
- Temporary setbacks
- Others’ success
- Short-term metrics
You become:
- Less discouraged by failures
- Less envious of peers
- More focused on the long game
Persistence increases.
Practical Application
For Work
Care about: Quality of work, learning, impact on users Don’t care about: Office politics, promotions, peer comparisons
Meeting invitation: "Sync to align on Q3 strategy"
Response: "I'll read the notes afterward" (indifferent to meetings)
Performance review: "You need to be more visible"
Response: "I prefer to focus on shipping" (indifferent to visibility)
For Side Projects
Care about: Solving the problem, learning the tech Don’t care about: GitHub stars, user counts, monetization
Comment: "Why not use React instead?"
Response: *ignore* (indifferent to tech preferences of strangers)
Friend: "How many users do you have?"
Response: "Dunno, wasn't tracking" (indifferent to vanity metrics)
For Social Media
Care about: Expressing ideas clearly, archiving thoughts Don’t care about: Likes, followers, engagement
Post gets 3 likes: Fine
Post gets 300 likes: Also fine
Someone disagrees: Indifferent
Someone blocks me: Indifferent
For Life
Care about: Health, relationships, autonomy Don’t care about: Status, possessions, others’ paths
Friend buys Tesla: Happy for them, don't want one myself
News article about doom: Read once, move on
Asked to attend event: "No thanks" (no explanation needed)
The Line Between Indifference and Apathy
Apathy: Not caring about anything (nihilism, depression) Strategic indifference: Not caring about the wrong things (stoicism, focus)
Apathy is giving up. Indifference is choosing battles.
How to Cultivate Indifference
1. Identify What Drains You
List things that:
- Trigger anxiety
- Consume mental energy
- Don’t align with your goals
Examples:
- Twitter arguments
- Coworker drama
- News cycles
- Others’ opinions
2. Deliberately Stop Caring
For each item, ask:
- “Can I control this?”
- “Does this matter in 5 years?”
- “Does caring improve my life?”
If no: practice indifference.
3. Redirect Energy
Energy saved from not caring redirects to what matters:
Energy not spent on: Redirected to:
- Social media -> Reading
- News -> Building
- Drama -> Relationships
- Comparison -> Growth
4. Build Habits
- Don’t check metrics: Stars, views, likes, etc.
- Don’t read comments: Especially from strangers
- Don’t explain yourself: To people who don’t matter
- Don’t ruminate: On past mistakes or future unknowns
The Paradox
When you stop caring about results, results improve:
- Stop caring about being liked → people respect you more
- Stop caring about success → you take smarter risks
- Stop caring about others’ opinions → you do better work
- Stop caring about status → you achieve more status (if you even notice)
Why? Because you’re optimizing for the right things.
My Practice
Daily reminders:
- “This doesn’t matter”
- “Not my problem”
- “I don’t care what they think”
- “Outside my control”
These aren’t cynical. They’re liberating.
When Indifference Fails
Sometimes you should care:
- Close relationships (family, friends)
- Your health
- Your craft
- Your integrity
Indifference is a tool, not a philosophy. Use it deliberately.
The Outcome
After a year of practicing strategic indifference:
- Anxiety: Down 80%
- Productivity: Up (fewer distractions)
- Satisfaction: Higher (focusing on what matters)
- Relationships: Deeper (fewer, higher quality)
I’m not “zen” or “enlightened.” I just stopped wasting energy.
The Takeaway
You have finite energy. Spend it wisely.
Care deeply about a few things. Be indifferent to the rest.
Indifference isn’t weakness. It’s focus.
Try it. Stop caring about 5 things this week. Notice what happens.
I bet you don’t miss them.